ThInKing of thIngS pAsT
It was Election Night in Trinidad- 1990s?
Things were pretty rote/ quiet, as it was a mere formality as to which party would win.
Then in walked two female police constables (yeah, we former colonists are quaint like that- constables:))
They had the tiniest little girl with them, in a shabby white dress. The female constables said she'd been found wandering on Stanmore Avenue, a wide thoroughfare in the midst of the capital city. I picked the kid up. She weighed nothing. The moment she felt my body, her arms went tight around my neck. She was so compact in my arms, like she fit there. The constables asked if I'd get her on the air, so that perhaps someone might call and ID her. I couldn't believe someone who just leave her like that... she couldn't have been more than 2 or 3. One of the women laughed when I relayed my thoughts. "It was deliberate. We see this all the time. They knew what they were doing."
I put her on the air, then picked her up again and walked with her in my arms to the outside doors.
I've never forgotten how she felt against me- so trusting, so small. How I felt in my heart, like she was supposed to be mine.
I've thought about her ever since. But I was 24 and trying to find my way and a kid was the last thing I could handle.
Did she survive? Where is she now? How did her abandonment affect her?
All these years have passed and I wish I'd adopted her, no matter what.
Totally contradicts what I posted earlier about me and kids... but perhaps not, perhaps that experience killed the spark, inspired the caution.
Life is complicated.
Things were pretty rote/ quiet, as it was a mere formality as to which party would win.
Then in walked two female police constables (yeah, we former colonists are quaint like that- constables:))
They had the tiniest little girl with them, in a shabby white dress. The female constables said she'd been found wandering on Stanmore Avenue, a wide thoroughfare in the midst of the capital city. I picked the kid up. She weighed nothing. The moment she felt my body, her arms went tight around my neck. She was so compact in my arms, like she fit there. The constables asked if I'd get her on the air, so that perhaps someone might call and ID her. I couldn't believe someone who just leave her like that... she couldn't have been more than 2 or 3. One of the women laughed when I relayed my thoughts. "It was deliberate. We see this all the time. They knew what they were doing."
I put her on the air, then picked her up again and walked with her in my arms to the outside doors.
I've never forgotten how she felt against me- so trusting, so small. How I felt in my heart, like she was supposed to be mine.
I've thought about her ever since. But I was 24 and trying to find my way and a kid was the last thing I could handle.
Did she survive? Where is she now? How did her abandonment affect her?
All these years have passed and I wish I'd adopted her, no matter what.
Totally contradicts what I posted earlier about me and kids... but perhaps not, perhaps that experience killed the spark, inspired the caution.
Life is complicated.
posted by euphoria at 9:42 PM
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