Dear Auntie Cynthia
Well, here we are.
The day before the dread day. Actually, the day before the second dread day.
The first is the day a loved one dies.
I remember the day Papa died. I mean, that day was an odyssey in itself- and therefore quite shattering- but it's the shock and awe day.
The awful grandeur of death. The deep and abiding surprise of it, although birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. The questions that plague one's mind: but he was here this morning?!? He spoke to me... he admonished Peter and I for fighting, from his bed as he lay gasping for air. Surely if a parent can still perform his agreed - upon task, he'll recover, won't he? He won't die an hour or two later..
But this is the nature of life.
You, last summer, in my newly- renovated kitchen, arranging flowers.
Then a few months later, sick with a brain tumor, in hospice.
And then finally, last week, flying away.
And so here we are, on the eve of that other dreaded event that is the lot of the living when the dead do their thing.
The funeral.
Sometimes I think the Muslims have figured it out best. Bury the dead within 24 hours. Send them on their way, rejoicing, as my Aunt Ermine was so prone to saying, and let the living get on with the business of living.
I truly hope that heaven is as we envision it, and not some Sci-Fi channel black hole, where light or air don't penetrate, a miles- wide expanse of nothingness. For I just want to envision you as heaven's go- to floral artist, the envy of the cherubim and seraphim. I feel happy thinking of you rekindling old relationships, having those great, long, boozy catch-up sessions. I feel excited about you meeting the ancestors you've heard about and the ones you had no idea of.
When someone dies, I always, always think of the words of that old stickfighting song, full of bravado, conviction, release:
"When meh body lay down in the grave, then meh soul goin' shout for joy".
You, free from the pain of this mortal coil, whirling like a dervish in fields of sunlit roses, laughing, laughing, laughing.
The day before the dread day. Actually, the day before the second dread day.
The first is the day a loved one dies.
I remember the day Papa died. I mean, that day was an odyssey in itself- and therefore quite shattering- but it's the shock and awe day.
The awful grandeur of death. The deep and abiding surprise of it, although birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. The questions that plague one's mind: but he was here this morning?!? He spoke to me... he admonished Peter and I for fighting, from his bed as he lay gasping for air. Surely if a parent can still perform his agreed - upon task, he'll recover, won't he? He won't die an hour or two later..
But this is the nature of life.
You, last summer, in my newly- renovated kitchen, arranging flowers.
Then a few months later, sick with a brain tumor, in hospice.
And then finally, last week, flying away.
And so here we are, on the eve of that other dreaded event that is the lot of the living when the dead do their thing.
The funeral.
Sometimes I think the Muslims have figured it out best. Bury the dead within 24 hours. Send them on their way, rejoicing, as my Aunt Ermine was so prone to saying, and let the living get on with the business of living.
I truly hope that heaven is as we envision it, and not some Sci-Fi channel black hole, where light or air don't penetrate, a miles- wide expanse of nothingness. For I just want to envision you as heaven's go- to floral artist, the envy of the cherubim and seraphim. I feel happy thinking of you rekindling old relationships, having those great, long, boozy catch-up sessions. I feel excited about you meeting the ancestors you've heard about and the ones you had no idea of.
When someone dies, I always, always think of the words of that old stickfighting song, full of bravado, conviction, release:
"When meh body lay down in the grave, then meh soul goin' shout for joy".
You, free from the pain of this mortal coil, whirling like a dervish in fields of sunlit roses, laughing, laughing, laughing.
posted by euphoria at 9:49 AM
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